letter to a DJ.

Todd,

I listen to both of your radio shows fairly regularly. As a politically liberal person I don't always agree with your point of view, but I respect what you think. I respect you because overall I think you're a fair person. Until today. I guess that's what brings me to my note today. Let's be honest, I know you probably don't read your emails, that you get several and I know I won't hear back from you. But I felt as though I owed it to myself and my little boy, Noah, to write this.

Without quoting you, I heard you talking about the word "retard" this morning and how you believe it's blown out of proportion-- that people are too easily offended. Ten years ago, I probably would have agreed with you. I would have thought "what's the big deal?!" That all changed when I had Noah (now 6 years old). He was a 26 week preemie that was just one pound at birth. Due to his prematurity he has Cerebral Palsy, Asthma, Sensory Integration Dysfunction and didn't speak his first word until he was almost five years old. I pictured my pregnancy and my new baby to be what every other mom thinks...but it didn't work out that way and I look at everything differently now.

I don't have time to sit here and write this email, just like you don't have time to read it. You work two jobs after all. And my job is not only being a mother to my two kids but being an advocate for Noah every day. Noah can't just go to school with his typically developing peers--schools segregate these children. I had to fight to get him into a typical classroom. Seems silly, huh? I fight for Noah to get an education right here in Pinellas County. I spend my days taking him to speech therapy, physical therapy and occupational therapy. And on the days we are not doing that we are seeing a recreational therapist to work on swimming to help with sensory issues. And Noah is smart-- tests higher than any child in his class of typical peers. But because he is "different" he is pushed aside and made fun of.

So you see, my plate is full. For me it's not about soccer and baseball. It's about just getting him to go to school with his peers, helping him talk, getting MRIs & doctors appointments, enduring endless medical tests, going to therapies and trying to get a couple of hours of sleep at night (which is the time I cut into to write this email!!). So I don't have time to tell every person I hear say "retard" that they suck. For all the fights I have to fight this one SUCKS. I hate when someone says "is he a retard??!!" or when I hear someone say jokingly "you're so retarded" (implying that they are stupid). You have kids-- you have to know how it pains you to hear someone hurt your child.

So, I am asking you to just take a second look at this. Because, after all, I have always believed you to be a fair, reasonable person. Those of us that have kids with special needs are so very tired. We fight for things that most parents just take for granted and we work tirelessly for those first steps and those first words. So at the end of the day our lives could be much easier if words like "retard" not only weren't used, but weren't supported by the media.

I was disappointed this morning. I have heard you say the word before and yes, I probably did growl at my radio. But this morning was different. You defended every person that makes life for my little guy just a little harder. He has so many hurdles already. All I am asking is to think twice before you use that word. You may think it doesn't matter to anyone. But it does matter to this one.

previous listener,
Nicole Harrison