another one bites the dust.

We are so fortunate. Every now and again we get a person in our lives (usually just at the right time) that appears to just fall out of the sky and help us. From Tish in the NICU to Wanda Boudinot in Columbus. Ms. Cheri, the best OT in the world (who is the only person on this list we still see).Then Ms. Meghan and Ms. Pam. And finally, April (our fabulous advocate). It's a handful of people. May not seem like many. But each one of them shaped my boy's life. Each one made a profound impact on my life. On Noah's life. These people are extraordinary not only at their jobs, but in their lives. They are nothing short of angels and I feel so blessed to have known each an every one.

Each person listed above came into our lives and left. At least, they left the day-to-day. April is the next one to make it to the "left" list. She came into my life when I was at the height of confusion and feeling overwhelmed. The school was pushing and I often felt defeated. I found myself reading and studying and preparing and it was never enough. And April came into our lives and changed everything. Almost effortlessly, it would appear. And she reminded me that I am Noah's biggest voice.

My mother-in-law can tell you about the moment I found out. Ironically, she was there when I found out about Ms. Meghan too... and both times I cried. I cried because I hate change. I cried because of the loss for Noah. I know how rare these extraordinary people are. Most recently I was in Publix (like Kroger.... like Hannaford...like Piggly Wiggly--I think that covers all my bases). And I was trying to hide somewhere in that random balloon/plant section while the tears came. I wanted to crawl into a bouquet of dora and elmo balloons. April told me she had news, which followed with "I'm leaving." All the "please don't go's" in the world couldn't change this one. Boo. :(

So April, the most fabulous Advocate for Noah, is gone after Friday. I am open to whatever our new Advocate, Selina will bring to us.

Our next IEP meeting was supposed to be 3/2 but is being rescheduled because Selina cannot do that date. Come to find out the school invited all kinds of people (even more than the last IEP meeting)-- I won't go in without an advocate.

The big decisions now are where to put Noah next year. General Education I am sure of-- but should it be Kindergarten or First grade. I keep going back and forth. Academically he can do the K work so it will be repetative, but socially and emotionally he is not on track with these kids. He is significantly behind. I fear that placing him with first graders may be setting him up to fail. He must be confident and successful for this to work. I have been processing and analyzing (shocker) and am still not sure. But what I am sure of is that I am not going to let any school administrator that has never met him tell me where he belongs. I got the feeling that's what I was getting set up for when they told me one of the head ESE people would be there along with several others that have never attended any of my meetings. New date to follow.

Any advice of the k vs. 1st dilemma is welcome. I'm overwhelmed, to say the least.