tis the season.

I know I can't expect everyone to know or understand. Sometimes I forget that. I saw this and knew I needed to post it.

The holiday season can be challenging for all of us. Imagine what it’s like for the child whose speech challenges make it tough to speak clearly or join in singing festive holiday carols — or whose limited motor skills demand assistance from others to write a heartfelt letter to Santa or participate in lighting the Menorah. Imagine what it’s like for an exhausted parent trying to include a child with autism in the festivities, then being harshly judged when sensory overload and disruption from critical daily routines result in that child’s emotional meltdown [grrrr...]. Here are seven helpful hints to help families better navigate dicey holiday terrain —and help increase the odds of creating great holiday memories for kids with special needs.

Helpful holiday hints:

• Inclusion is the name of the game. Kids with special needs are children first, with big dreams and long holiday wish lists, just like other kids.
• Whenever possible, include the child in holiday festivities and activities like tree trimming, baking cookies, shopping for gifts, and attending church services (use the cry room, if needed). Include that child in family holiday photos and videos, too.
• Interact with family members with special needs. Encourage others to do the same. If the child uses a wheelchair, kneel to eye level and address the child directly.
• Allow other kids in the family to buddy up and assist the child with special needs in hanging ornaments, frosting cookies, setting the table or passing out presents. Help that child participate while teaching other kids in the family valuable life lessons.
• Communicate. Arrange family meetings to discuss the child’s needs and how to
  best address them. Provide needed training and brainstorm ways to include the child with special needs in family activities.
• If a child uses a wheelchair, address accessibility issues and plan activities in locations that don’t involve stairs.
• Redefine your expectations. Throw all your visions of a perfect family holiday right out that garland-draped window. Instead, ask what memories you want to create for all of your children. Having a child with special needs does not mean you must forgo memorable and fun holiday moments. Think creatively!
• Address food allergies and noise/touch sensitivities, and make allowances for them. The seasonal bounty this time of year can result in overload for many children, especially those with sensory, auditory and food issues. Kids with food allergies may not be able to eat all the traditional goodies most of us eagerly gobble up. Discuss alternative choices and inform family members about any life-threatening food allergies so they don’t offer the offending food to the child.
• Buy age and skill-level appropriate gifts for the child with special needs.
  Regardless of how well intentioned, inappropriate gift selection for children with special needs hurts. When in doubt, ask parents for gift ideas or obtain a copy of the child’s holiday wish list. Reserve baby toys (and baby talk) for babies. Toys “R” Us offers an annual Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids, a toy selection guide “for parents and friends of children with disabilities,” to ensure the holiday toy wishes of kids with special needs come true, too. It can be downloaded from the Toys “R” Us Web site, http://www.toysrus.com/.
• Practice forgiveness whenever possible [I certainly need to work on this]. Most family members don’t intentionally set out to exclude children with special needs. They just require education, support and positive examples to bring them up to speed. By focusing on solutions, families can help create holiday magic for kids with special needs — and that’s in keeping with the spirit of the season!

-from Capital Area Women's Lifestyle (Michigan magazine)